Being yourself online can be the strangest experience. (In addition to, you know, the basic essential weirdness of being a human being.)
Sometimes you want to dip your toe in a certain water without making it a big deal or announcing anything. And then it can feel oddly disingenuous to not share everything with everyone.
I open my mouth sit down to write, but nothing comes out.
So then you just don’t talk at all, because hello, all of your brain matter is occupied by this one thing. Feels a bit like being told something about someone and sworn to secrecy. And before you’ve even absorbed the information, he walks up and you get all blurtey and act like a total dooooofus.
Must have happened umpteen times on Seinfeld: Jerry tells Elaine a secret about George, and then she gets all mumbley and super suspicious. Until George gets her wasted and she spills everything.
A glimpse at the flip side.
Sometimes I feel awkward as a reader/consumer when someone hints at something they’re growing in the background. But now as a writer/producer I completely get it. Because you have this thing you want to talk about, but you also feel a bit protective, and you need to wait until the timing feels right.
Must be a bit like couples feel about telling people (or not) that they’re pregnant?
Nurturing something tiny and sweet is a vulnerable and delicate time. It might start out as just a private glimmer of an idea, a flutter across the screen. And at that point everything is so fragile. You need time to get used to the change. And it needs time to put down some roots and get stronger.
The baby point.
And there’s no reason that setting the stage for a new business venture or product has to be icky or manipulative anymore than it would be with a (real life) baby. Because your business can be your baby. Your next idea can be a tiny, sweet thing.
No one would be like: Oh, gross, she totally hinted at being pregnant – she must be pushing her baby on me. Dude, I don’t want your baby!
So why does it sometimes feel that way when someone hints about their next thing?
It’s like you I want to share a little bit, but you’re I’m scared that it will look like priming the pump or something. (Which in this case is extra ridiculous because part of my thing is for such a teeny handful of people that it would be impossible to game anyone.)
The bigger point?
Part of being yourself online (without wanting to stab yourself in the eye repeatedly) has to do with sharing what you can, being all you in a way that feels genuine and safe.
And if you can’t share everything rightthissecond, it doesn’t mean you’re withholding to be manipulative. And you definitely don’t want to over-share in the name of “authenticity”.
I guess this is me saying that I’m doing some stuff. That I’m crazy excited about. And I’ll be ready to share soon. Then, hopefully, I can stop being quite so super awkward and blurtey.
How about you? Do secrets make you clumsy? Even the exciting ones?
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You are swell. Your blog is mighty good. I like it ! And TAMALES ROCK.
Have you had chicken with green chile? They’re the xmas special in Mex.
I’ll be back.
: )
Forgot to say:
WOW! That’s great that you’ve got something that makes you giddy and gleeful in the works. Shazaam!
I always keep things to myself, because of a past realization that everything I was excited about and told to my parents – immediately jinxed the thing I was excited about. So I just stopped telling people anything.
And then if I get truly excited about something, I hint at it, and hope someone will drag it out of me, so I don’t have to look like a braggart. But I’m really weird about jinxing things that are still in the works.
Ha. This is how I felt on my blog(s) for months, because I didn’t think I could talk about the fact that I was quitting my job because my coworkers didn’t know yet, and I was so excited that it was pretty much all I thought about. Come to think about it, this is how I felt at work too.
Finally being able to say I was leaving – whether or not I did – felt like a huge exhale.
I’m so excited that you have stuff in the works that you’re crazy excited about!
You know what else this reminded me of? When you find a gift that is so perfect you can hardly wait to give it. And you can’t tell them what it is – because it’s a present – so all you can do is keep telling them “I got you the best. present. ever!” over and over.
I can’t be the only one that does this. I mean, not that I’ve done this myself, but ..
@Elizabeth, it’s so funny that you say that – after I read your last comment I went for a walk and was thinking exactly the same thing.
Basically, I am excellent at keeping serious, somber secrets. I am crap at keeping happy, exciting ones. And I want to give people their gift rightthissecond.
One time an old boyfriend’s family planned a big surprise going away party for him, and didn’t even tell me because they were too worried that I’d be overcome with excitement and spill the beans. So it ended up being a surprise for both of us ~ you are so not not the only one
And I had forgotten all about how awkward it was to be at work pre notice giving – the worst!
@Lilly ~ I am also terrified of the jinxing, and very big on knocking on wood. (Or my head.) I’ll have to keep an eye out for the hinting so I can hear any of your good news!
@Elana ~ Tamales, mmmmmmm. And thanking you so much, happy that you’re here.
I like your present analogy, Elizabeth! Couldn’t have been explained better.
Briana, part of what you’re feelings is probably related to the fear ‘what will people think’ because inside you’re proud and excited and you hope others will cherish it as much as you do. You’re giving a part of yourself to the world with every single thing you create. I guess whatever it is that we create we suffer anxiety when it comes to sharing ‘our baby’ with the world. Enjoy that feeling! It’s a part of the creative process. And blurt it out, will you? I’m so curious!
(And happy for you!)