So on Monday’s I’m doing this pattern ritual thing where I pick a pattern to sort of notice that week. Or pay attention to. Or try to notice and pay attention to. And then I pretty much forget about it.
But for some as-of-yet undiscovered reason, just the thinking about noticing and writing about thinking about noticing is helping. Maybe there’s less emotional charge around the issue or maybe I just haven’t come up against any triggery stuff for that particular week. Either way, I’ll take it.
Last time.
So last week I wanted to pay attention to how I deal with accountability… whether I’d follow through on my stuff out of people-pleasing or whether I’d rebel and totally slack off. And, yay, because it was actually neither – having an accountability structure was super helpful. But I’m sure this theme will pop back up eventually, it being a pattern and all. So stay tuned.
This time.
As a new entrepreneur, I have quite a bit of businessey stuff to learn. And, you might have noticed, there’s some advice available on the internet. (Cue hysterical laughter.) Which means contradictions all over the place and if I try to follow along, I feel like a dog chasing its tail.
Actually I feel like my dog chasing his pug tail, a tail which is perpetually curled to the right. And poor guy… he always happens to run to the right which makes it totally impossible for him to grab it. Exactly what happens when I try to follow all of the available advice: fruitlessly spin myself into a pathetic heap.
And I notice that all of these business advice-givers are maybe one part of the external force in my head. But someone I adore recently told me that if advice makes me feel bad about myself, it’s not the right advice for me. And I really have crazy admiration for this person, and guess what: Her advice made me feel fabulous.
Of course there’s a resistant little voice in my head that’s all, hmmm, shutting out the advice you don’t like just sounds like a convenient way to feel good all the time. To which I’m all, so? Because yeah, listening to advice that makes me feel good is really how I got here: how I started creating a life I’m excited about. I’m all for it. In fact, it’s advice I’d give someone else.
So, this week I’m noticing when I’m feeling icky about something someone says I should be doing. Note the translation of actual roles for that sentence:
Someone = Entire Freaking Internet
I = Everyone they’d like to convert into a customer
So yeah, also noticing when they’re not even really talking to me. And noticing the instances when I’m actively seeking out this kind of advice. Because I seem to do that. Don’t ask me why. Yet. Maybe I’ll have the answer next week.
Ideas about this? And, of course, you are totally welcome to join me.
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Hiya Briana –
Just found you via Christine Kane…am looking forward to reading through your site as what I’ve seen so far is just grand!
Love the theme of noticing patterns. My, but we’re creatures of comfort, aren’t we? My coaching clients have been having some fun lately with writing out the recipe for the patterns. As in, “let’s assume that you are the very best person in the world for getting in your own way when a new opportunity appears and I want to learn how to do that. What are the steps that I need to know to do the same really well?” In the noticing how it all typically rolls out, it becomes apparent that it’s no ONE thing that comes up, but (obviously!) several steps. Kinda like eating an elephant (though am never sure why anyone would want to do that!) And the glorious client, as ever, is in choice about how to move forward.
Oh, and by the way? I get the sense that your instincts are bang-on, brilliant and will never, ever, EVER steer you wrong (so it may well be less about taking advice and more about taking stock of what your gut…or spine…or toes tell you).
TG