I totally wanted to call this post “shaking whatchyo mama gave you,” but I just couldn’t bring my inner nerdy, boho-prepster to do it.
Anyway, this search for the sweet spot is turning into quite the series. It turns out I have a bit to say about finding a happy life work. Like, way more than could be said in one book, let alone a blog series. If you missed the earlier posts:
- first I introduced Jim Collins‘ theory of the hedgehog and the sweet spot;
- second I reviewed some of my own not-always-joyful employment history on the hunt for marketable skills;
- third I expressed frustration that assessment tests get it right a lot more than I care to admit (go read the insightful comments on this one); and
- fourth I attempted to combine weird knacks and strange talents into one cohesive work-worthy theme.
Another idea for mining your natural talents: what are you genetically encoded to do? Can your family history provide any insight into what work has the potential to light your fire? Again with the big time creativity and non-literal analysis.
Because, well, my mom is an attorney and my dad is a communications trainer. I’m going to venture way out and note that attorneys are also referred to as counselors, right? Counselor … coach … Yeah, I know, attorney is to coach as tax accountant is to bliss crusader. The analogy just really doesn’t fly. Alas…
I realize I’m mining my parents’ gifts and matching them up with my thing in retrospect of having chosen my thing. Finding the current in your ancestry may be a tad more complicated.
This is where we might have to dig a little deeper and question what we’re drawn to do underneath the job title. What is at the crux of the work you love, distilled down into the simplest essence? Finding a life work is less about what you actually do and more about who you get to be.
After fifteen years of practicing law, my mom went back to school for her masters in teaching. She also works with a guy my age who calls her regularly for relationship advice. She approaches giddy when she has the opportunity to connect people with each other, and she was a Big Sister for several years.
My dad is a communication genius and a fantastic public speaker (please let this talent be buried somewhere in my genetic code). He spends his days teaching other people how to communicate better and has a healthy dose of entrepreneurial spirit. But his role as the troop leader for my Boy Scout younger brothers is where he pours out his heart.
In my opinion, and they might disagree, the real deal is that both of my parents are teachers at heart and find a lot of joy in mentoring others. They’re also both voracious readers, relationship oriented, socially conscious, and pretty darn intellectual.
If your family is anything like mine, the career choices of your parents may not provide a lot of insight into your ideal life work. I think the key is spotting the undercurrent of your genetic flow; who are your parents, your ancestors even, underneath the layers of titles and burden of responsibility? Maybe it’s not a career that makes them dance, maybe it’s working in the garden or studying language or, I don’t know, tie-dying all of their clothing.
Like my parents, I love kids. I started babysitting at nine. (Nine?! Yes, nine, insert flabbergastery here. According to all parties involved, I was apparently a very responsible fourth-grader.) And one of my all time favorite jobs was working as a nanny in college. Combine this with the current of teaching in my family tree, and if I were being overly simplistic, my reaction would be that elementary school teacher is the dream gig for me.
Which is exactly why it’s helpful freaking imperative to look at the essence of work under the title; so many jobs have teaching at their core and one may be perfect for you while another constitutes torture. For me, teaching elementary school lands a lot closer to my torture mark.
Peering closely at the themes inherent in my family tree gives me a taste of who I’d love to be. And like with my opinion of assessment tests, I don’t think our genetic strengths are the only things we’re capable of excelling at. But hopefully the investigation gives us an idea of some traits we’d like to nurture and develop.
For example, I have one grandmother who was a photographer, painter, writer, baker; all-around inspiring renaissance woman. I love that her creative spirit is part of me. My other grandmother is the most resilient person I know; she loves whatever life brings and her abiding faith that never ceases to amaze me. I find strength knowing her soul is connected to mine.
Also genetic … my dad is a real “do what you love” kind of guy. And I am now doing what I love, and also making it my business to help other people figure out what they love.
Which is the perfect primer for the post on passion. *Whee* And holy alliteration.
Any interesting tidbits or creative ideas you can glean from your heritage?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow, I loved this post and it really got me thinking but the saddest thing I realised was that I can’t remember ever hearing my parents say one positive thing about working. The message I got was that work is what you do because you have to to support your family and that there was no choice. It wasn’t to be enjoyed, just endured but if you were lucky you did something prestigious and got well-paid for not enjoying what you did! It kind of makes me realise where a lot of my struggle about wanting more than enduring has come and still comes from.
Those parental messages are so powerful, aren’t they? Makes me think about what sort of messages about work I’m sending to my children. I tell my kids that it’s about being happy and finding then following their passions but if I’m not actually doing it myself, then my actions are speaking louder than my words. I hadn’t thought of that before.
Hmmmm, great post, thanks! Lots to think about there…
Oh and hey, I know my comment was about messages, not genetics! I mean when I think about what my parents did as a job, it’s hard to know what they passed on in terms of their interests and talents because the overriding message was that they didn’t enjoy it. (just to link the comment back in to what your post was actually about!)
My dad is a design engineer. I always wanted to be just like him, and I guess I didn’t fall too far off. But other than that, my family was pretty country. As in cows and chickens. I love nature, but put me in a barn and I am economically screwed.
I love this idea, though. I wish I knew more about my family tree to draw from it. It would be really interesting to see what currents of talent run through my veins genetically.
@Kate ~ Yeah, there’s the old nature/nurture thing and I don’t know if it’s possible to separate the genetics and the message, I had trouble with it myself.
And I think a lot of us are carrying around that work ethic you’re describing – the mindset of earlier generations was just so different. To grossly generalize, I think many were grateful for any stable job and wanting more than that (like, oh I don’t know, maybe fulfillment) would have been seen as ungrateful.
There is some great advice and a few exercises in Martha Beck’s “Finding Your Own North Star” about unpacking all of those beliefs we picked up from our families (and society, etc.). She calls it your Everybody, and I highly recommend reading through it.
@Sarah ~ Laughing at my computer picturing you broke in a barn. Not that that would be funny or anything, just a nice reality-show-worthy visual. I’m with you and I so wish I knew more about my family tree to see what I picked up from them. We have so many more choices than other generations had, so I think it’s hard to know what our ancestors might have been if the world was their oyster.