I took the plunge and opened my Facebook and Twitter accounts today. And what the *%$# took me so long?!? This is a bigger, badder, better question than I think I ever realized.
Back when I was a corporate cube-dweller (okay, I had a sweet office with a view of the San Francisco Bay, but I’m trying to paint a sad picture here) I just didn’t feel jazzed about my work, and that ickiness oozed out into lots of areas of my life.
And you know what? I was actually really good at my job. I was jogging, sometimes sprinting, to the top of that ladder, taking the rungs two at a time. But the achievements always felt so empty for me. Sure, my ego enjoyed the accolades for a minute or two. But as egos are wont to do, mine usually got bored quickly and starting grasping at something else for satisfaction. (Something else like triple chocolate fudge decadence or draining my checking account at the nearest Anthropologie.)
Not that accounting isn’t an honorable profession. It absolutely is. I love and admire so many of the people I met during that part of my life. Some of my very favorite people are bean-counting tax accountants. People who taught me about teamwork and support and looking out for each other. But the thing is, those relationships always meant way more to me than the work ever could.
And so while my life stunk of merit and achievement back then, I wanted to hide. I didn’t want to connect with people. I preferred wallowing in my unfulfilling life, while I resisted taking any action to change it.
Please. Excuses. Except I kind of believed them. I didn’t really know that I wanted to be invisible, that I was terrified of being seen, or that I cared way too much what other people thought. I mean, now I know that on some level I knew, but I don’t think I wanted to know, you know?
And it kind of baffles me that I chose today to actually expose myself through social media. Okay, not expose myself. More like, introduce myself, be visible, join the rest of my generation in cyberspace. Because today, here’s where I’m sitting: single, just starting to figure out what it is I want to do, just barely peeking out at a new life, unsure of what city I’ll end up in, or how exactly my career will take shape.
But, the key difference is that today I feel like I’m living my authentic life. It might not look sparkling or shiny to anyone else, but I finally get that my vote is the only one that really matters. That, and I’ve embraced a quote I probably first heard in kindergarten:
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” Dr. Seuss
So yeah, I still had huge butterflies about sending out those friend requests. Hello, Wallflower. But you know what my first three responses were? ”Finally!” ”Hallelujah!” and “Sweet Jesus!” (God my friends are funny and dramatic.) What exactly did I have to be afraid of?
And yeah, being myself online makes me feel totally naked. But in a shockingly good way.
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YAY Social Media!! I am so glad you are “on the train” Bri!!