Okay, fine, it is talking to a wall. I had my first dialogue with one. An inner wall. I think our talk went surprisingly well. My wall was about as unyielding and imposing as you’d expect. And still, I think we somehow managed to come out of our chat on the same side. My side.
I was feeling epically stuck last week, paralyzed with indecision. I’m wanting to take the next steps in the creation and biggification of my business. But- But- But. It felt like I was standing with my nose two inches from a very high, very concrete wall. I kept thinking and saying: I’m just so blocked.
And also: It’s like there’s a wall. After referring to this wall for the hundredth time, it finally dawned on me to actually respect its visceral wall-ish-ness. And so I tried to have a conversation with it.
Tête-à-wall.
Me: Okay Wall, I think you must be doing your job. Well, at least you’re blocking my view. Which is one of the things walls do. But you tell me, what exactly are you trying to do?
Wall: I’m trying to keep you from getting too excited.
Me: Hmmm. Okay. Why don’t you want me to be excited?
Wall: I don’t think you’re ready.
Me: Well I want to be ready. Even though I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m curious, is there anything I could do to be getting ready? I can’t tell, because you’re blocking my view.
Wall: You don’t have the right idea yet. You can’t create or grow anything until you hit the right idea.
Me: So you’re trying to help me from acting on the wrong idea? But I can’t come up with any new ones because you’re in my way. What do you think about letting me see some ideas without acting?
Wall: The idea needs to be big and different. Which means you’ll get way too excited. And act.
Me: So you won’t let me act because I don’t have the right idea, but you won’t let me see any big, fresh ideas because you’re afraid I’ll get carried away and take action. Well that’s perfectly illogical of you. And it means I’ll never get anywhere. And I’m not cool with that. Can we compromise?
It sounds like you don’t want me to get swept away. So how about you let me into the idea garden, and I promise to spend lots of time with all of the ideas. I won’t run off with any of them. And I’ll get feedback from really smart people that we both like before I do anything. Then will you let me see?
Wall: Do you want to use the secret passage?
Um, yeah.
Yeah, I do want to use the secret passage, thank you very much. My wall is kinda cool like that. I’m not sure why this works, but I think it’s about operating under the assumption that my wall was doing its job. Believing that my wall had a purpose. Instead of just kicking it and hurting myself.
And I’m noticing that I feel unusually compelled to follow through on my end of our agreement: To spend time playing with the ideas that come, and to only share them with the right people.
And even though it sounds almost too good to be true, I’m catching fresh glimpses of ideas. I can see again. It feels a little like I’ve reconnected with the right hemisphere of my brain. Phew!
