I’ve been toying with the idea of using Mondays on the blog to name and talk about a particular pattern or container of stuff (like, the internal kind) that I want to pay attention to for the week. Part of it is an impulse to introduce more ritual into my life, or more conscious ritual anyway. Because rituals are powerful and comforting and all that. And it’s kind of funny because in my head this blog post has been about rituals, but really it’s just setting up the ritual to create a container to work on some stuff. So I guess I have another blog post brewing about why rituals are important and why I’m intrigued by their power.
There are a bunch of reasons why I want to try noticing and paying attention to just one specific thing.
A couple of reasons out of a whole bunch:
Choosing to pay attention to one particular pattern makes the paying of the attention the objective. The idea isn’t necessarily to resolve an issue or release any of your stuff. So that means just noticing it and playing with it a bit amounts to success. This is kind of huge for someone like me who likes to do things right. And who doesn’t like to do things wrong. (Those might sound like the same thing, but really they each have their own set of issues. At least in my world.)
Another thing that’s kind of cool about just choosing one thing is that it feels so reasonable. When you start noticing your stuff, and you start playing with all of the endless ways to interact with it, relieve it, grow from it… Well, it can get kind of overwhelming. By that I mean, the quantity of stuff, yes. Oh the stuff is plentiful.
And I also mean all of the different approaches we can take to interact with our stuff. If you’re at all prone to attention challenges (or just easily bored), you might flit from idea to issue to shiny cool new thing over there without feeling like you made any progress at all.
So I’m thinking, maybe choose one. It doesn’t mean more stuff won’t come up, or even that I won’t actively pay attention to other stuff. But my goal won’t be to fix every single thing in the entire world this week. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
A couple of other things I want to say: I don’t think every week will be this big life pattern thing. Well, at least not directly. Because since in some way, they’re probably all kind of connected. Which means even the little ones might be intertwined with the big ones. But I just mean, like commitment, that’s a pretty big deal. Whereas some weeks it might be something that seems smaller and more concrete, like a little productivity thing I want to try or a new activity or behavior I want to start doing.
And the cool thing about the fact that they’re all connected means that by paying attention to just one, chances are, it might shift some other stuff, too. Maybe even stuff that seems way unrelated.
I’d also just like to say, there are not a lot of good ways to say “pay attention to stuff” or “interact with stuff.” Heal stuff sounds a little cheesy. And none of them seem descriptive or sufficient. And some feel so impersonal. I don’t want to say “deal with stuff” or “handle stuff.” And definitely not “get rid of stuff.” I don’t think my stuff would like that at all. But anyway, just know that I don’t really jive with any of these phrases either.
So the stuff for this week… hmmm. It’s almost funny how easily the stuff comes up. Because just deciding to try this whole write-on-the-blog-about-paying-attention-to-stuff-ritual-thingy brought up some of mine. Some non-commital stuff. Some waiting-unti-I’m-sure-I’m-ready-for-this stuff. Some but-I’m-not-exactly-sure-how-to-do-this-yet stuff. Some my-blog-is-not-old-enough-for-a-ritual stuff. Some I’m-no-ritual-expert stuff. And then of course, the yeah-but-there-are-obviously-a-gajillion-patterns-I-need-to-be-working-on stuff.
I also noticed myself thinking that maybe this isn’t the week to start this ritual, or to commit to pay attention to something specific all week, because I’m going up to the bay area on Wednesday for a week. So it’s bad timing. Or something.
Hahaha. Hello big ol’ pattern of mine, you are officially this week’s winner: Putting stuff off until the timing (and everything else) is perfect. I’ve done it in hard, concrete ways and soft, emotional ways. Waiting until I was thin to be happy; waiting to live in the perfect place before I could feel at home; waiting to make friends until I lived the right city. Waiting to start noticing a pattern and paying attention to it until I can be home all week? What does that even mean? Why do I need to be home to pay attention? That’s the thing about patterns and your stuff – it goes with you wherever you go, no extra suitcase required.
Some ideas about paying attention to the pattern: Noticing when and where it comes up. What triggers it? What to you say to yourself when it comes up? How do you react? (internally? externally?) Is there a deeper, underlying belief about it? And then, is there something kinder and more compassionate you could tell yourself? Are you aware of any needs you might be trying to meet with this pattern?
And I’m sure we’ll come up with more.
And that what I would really love is eventually for you to play along, too. And we could kind of support each other. But obviously not even one iota of pressure about that. Especially today, because you know, I didn’t give you any warning or anything. But if you aren’t sure what to work on, I bet the thought of commenting here on the blog with your thing will bring up something. Just a hunch, if you’re anything like me.
I’ve been toying with the idea of using Mondays on the blog to name and talk about a particular pattern or stuck spot (i.e. stuff) that I want to pay attention to for the week. In part, because I have an urge to introduce more rituals into my life. Because rituals are powerful and comforting and all that, but that’s another post.
This post is just for setting up the ritual to create a container to work on our stuff. And there are a bunch of reasons why I think it’s helpful to try noticing and paying attention to just one thing.
So, a couple of reasons out of a whole bunch:
Choosing to pay attention to one particular pattern makes the paying of the attention the objective. The idea isn’t necessarily to resolve an issue or release any of your stuff. Which means just noticing a pattern and playing with it a bit amounts to success.
Framing it this way can be kind of huge for someone who really likes to do things right. And who doesn’t like to do things wrong. (Those might sound like the same thing, but really they each have their own set of issues. At least in my world.)
Choosing only one thing also feels pretty manageable. When you start noticing your stuff, and you start playing with all of the endless ways to interact with it, dissolve it, grow from it… Well, it can get kind of overwhelming. By that I mean, the quantity of stuff, yes. Oh, the stuff is plentiful.
But I also mean all of the different approaches we can take to interact with our stuff. If you’re at all prone to attention challenges (or just easily bored), you might flit from stuck spot to issue to shiny new thing over there without feeling like you’re making any progress at all with your stuff.
Choosing just one pattern doesn’t mean other stuff won’t come up, or even that we won’t actively pay attention to it. But the goal won’t be to fix every single thing in your entire world this week. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
My pattern for the week.
Just deciding to try this whole write-about-paying-attention-to-stuff-ritual-thingy brought up some of my stuff. Some non-committal stuff. And some but-I’m-not-exactly-sure-how-I-want-to-do-this-yet stuff. There’s the my-blog-is-not-old-enough-for-a-ritual stuff. And then of course, the yeah-but-GEEZ-there-are-obviously-a-gajillion-patterns-I-need-to-be-working-on stuff.
I also noticed myself thinking that maybe this isn’t the week to start this ritual. Because, after all, I’m going up to the Bay Area on Wednesday for a week. So it’s bad timing. Or something.
Hahaha. Hello big ol’ ball of stuff, pattern of mine, you are officially this week’s winner: Putting stuff off until the timing (and everything else) is perfect. I’ve done this in hard, concrete ways and soft, emotional ways for a long time. And now, waiting to start noticing a pattern and paying attention to it until I can be home all week? What does that even mean? Why do I need to be home to pay attention? That’s the thing about patterns: they usually go where you go. No extra suitcase required.
I’m not totally sure what paying attention to this pattern will look like yet. For now, just noticing, oh there’s that thing I do, or there’s that stuff that gets triggered when this thing happens, will be plenty of awareness. And depending on the stuff, there will be different ways to work with it and we’ll figure it out as we go.
I don’t think every Monday will be about paying attention to some big life pattern. Well, at least not directly. Because they’re probably all kind of connected, which means even the little ones might be intertwined with the big ones. But, for example, this week’s feels kind of big-ish. Whereas some weeks it might be something smaller and more concrete – maybe a little productivity thing I want to try or a healthy new habit I want to create.
The fact that they’re all connected means that by paying attention to just one pattern, chances are some other stuff might shift, too.
What about you?
I would love for you to play along, too. Eventually. And we’ll support each other. But obviously no pressure at all about sharing your stuff. If you want to, and you aren’t sure what pattern to choose, I bet the thought of commenting here on the blog about your stuff will bring up something. Just a hunch, if you’re anything at all like me : )
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I love this idea. Will ponder. It did remind me that I have a lovely pattern of not being able to start something *unless* it’s Monday. (Even better is a Monday that’s the 1st of the month. And a Monday that’s the first of the year – pure bliss.)
@elizabeth ~ Ohhh, I always love the 1st – it feels so, I don’t know, supple or something. Full of promise and all that. Like today, yay! Happy December 1 (even though it is a Tuesday).
Great idea, this ‘stuff of the week’ thing. Like employee of the month: the others are still there, but the special one will get some more attention. Will ponder also.
The ‘putting things off’ stuff is one of my patterns. From stupid stuff like taking the used tea cup to the kitchen (will do it tomorrow morning) to finishing (or starting) Big Stuff.
Oooh, I love this idea. You always have the best, most inspirational ideas and thoughts.
Where in the Bay Area will you be? Drop me a line if you’d like to have a cocktail!
@Inge ~ Love the employee of the month comparison because it almost makes the pattern sound welcome which brings up way less resistance. Temporarily welcome, at least.
@Stacy ~ You are so sweet. Seriously. And I’ve been internet deprived for 3 days, but I’ll tweet you or send an e-mail now
!