When you realize you’re already “there”

Boy there are a lot of experiences I’d like to have realize I am already having and start appreciating.

I can get pretty absorbed in the future. Erm, okay, obsessed. Example? I spent most mornings this summer walking my dog down at the lake by our house.  Some days as we walked out onto the dock and looked at the houses across the glassy water, I would find myself thinking about how I would like to live near a lake someday.

At which point I’d hear this horrific screeching sound as the wheel in my brain stopped turning, and I wondered what the hell I was thinking.  I was living by a lake in that very freakin’ moment. Maybe I’m just missing the second half of the desire: I would like to live near a lake someday, and be present enough to drink in the wonder of it.

Because today, I don’t live by a lake anymore. I moved from wet, green Washington back to warm, dry Los Angeles. Now there is a canyon out my back door that I can start taking for granted.

This is not a new pattern for me: I did the same thing living in San Francisco.  I adored my neighborhood: the shops on the main street, the hill I had to climb to get home, the view of the city from the my bay window. But come on, this is a city chock full of cool neighborhoods. And sometimes I’d go wandering some other awesome area and I’d find myself imagining how nice it would be to live in a neighborhood like that. You know, someday. And of course I’d imagine that when that day came, I’d really be grateful. 

Um. Huh? What is this about?  Oh, lots of things. The idea that comes to mind today is that maybe it’s possible to have too many choices.  As someone who gets high (and not in a good way) off grass-is-greener thinking, I’m trying out a new technique: when I start thinking about how great something will be in the future, I want to try coming up with one reason why my present circumstance is actually better. To remind me that there are reasons to be happy right here.

Future focus certainly has its place. Embracing change and taking action are part of life. And actually, these are some of my favorite parts.  But for me, there’s a fine line between settling and allowing myself to settle in. If you’re the type to avoid change and action, if you beat yourself up for wanting more by thinking that you should appreciate what you have now, this tool of mine might actually be counterproductive for you.

But if you start noticing this eerie repetition of retroactive appreciation or wishing fervently for things you actually already have, maybe give it a try. And let me know how it goes, or whether you have another technique for sinking into this moment and realizing you’re already kind of “there”. Where things are actually pretty good.